Today, while going through notebooks and ripping out last semester's notes, I found some writings from Junior High. I impressed myself with some of them, so I decided to share.
I'm stuck between loving and hating him with such a passion that it consumes all of me.
...and un-explainable addiction to drugs I've never tried.
There's an entire page dedicated to ripping on the college students giving a presentation to my class, and my cousin and I kept track of who said the most "ums and uhs"
It's also interesting to see that what I was concerned with at that time, like having lotion in my locker and recording Gilmore Girls. Oh, back when life was that simple. I need to think that way more often these days.
There was a very cool catchphrase for my company, IDK, which is "Open Your Eyes", a play on the "I" being "Eye". I think I'll use that now.
There were several pages of dreams I had during the time I was dating my first real boyfriend, and they all make me laugh. In one, his father was hitting on my dad, and in another, I drove a car into a church. I love my dreams.
The best thing I found was this:
Sometimes, we forget why we love the ones we love. I don't know how it just slips our minds of hearts, but one day, we just don't believe in it anymore. Believe in the power that an unspoken bond or simple memories can hold. We grow cold and distant, ungrateful, unfeeling. Words no longer cut like knives but dig like splinters, and the harder you try to fix it, the further it pushes in, deeper and deeper until you just give up and wait for it to fester to the surface. We know the right words to say, but choose to push them aside. We harbor secret hates for our once closest loves, and for what reason? Solely forgetfulness. Unfailing forgetfulness. The bane of every human's existence is to forget who they love, to forget how to love. But deep down, that unspoken bond is never broken and those simple memories remain, and resurface, just like splinters. Love is never lost, just sometimes, we forget.
Those are some words that seem so wise from me at only 16. That was only 5 years ago, but it seems like an eternity. It just reminds me how I can never be thankful enough for my siblings teaching me life lessons before I ever had to experience them on my own. Without them, I'd be nothing.
