Don't be my Juggernaut

I feel this anguish. This growing pain, like a black hole slowing sucking part of me away, the part of me I want to keep most. You have made your way into a place in me that no one should ever occupy. You have no right for what you have done. Every part of my being wants to hurt you even an inch of what you have hurt me, but nothing I do will allow that to happen. I think I'm giving up. I will never be able to tell you how I feel, because you are as thick as granite. Maybe all I can do is move on. Maybe this will never change. Maybe you will always be there, and if I want my life the way it is, maybe all I can do is forget. Forget what you've done, and move on, no matter how hard it is, and how I can never make you leave my mind. I want to be happy for what life I have left, and I don't want you to prevent that. I'll probably never be able to tell you this or tell you what I really feel about you, but that's probably for the best. Your life is shitty enough, you don't need me to remind you. But I have to thank you for one thing. Every time I think of you, I realize how good I have it and what a good person I am. You make me appreciate that I got the better end. I think that's why you won't ever leave me be. I took what you thought could make your life work. No, I never took it. You gave it up. I saw the beauty in what you threw away, and my life has never been better, despite your attempts to destroy that. And now I'm crying tears of happiness instead of hatred, because I know that in the end, I win this stupid game. You will be miserable for what you have done to everyone around you, and knowing that can help me move on.