Cooties

So tonight, at Goodwill, a man came walking in while I was on the register. He looked kind of confused, and was carrying two suit-coats without a bag. He started to did through the pockets of the coats like he was looking for something. My boss asked, "Can I help you with anything?" "Yes," he responded,"I bought these coats here, and when I got them home, the pockets were full of cooties! Cooties, just crawling all over them." This caught my attention. My boss pointed out that he had already ripped the tag off, so, unfortunately, she couldn't give him any store credit for them. "Well they were just covered in cooties. What, do you guys get this stuff from China?" he said. Then, a woman, who I think was his wife walked in. I believe she had Parkinson's Disease, which my uncle has, because her mouth was half open with her tongue shaking inside of it, and her head was shaking just as much as her tongue. My boss told the man she could give him the district manager's number if he would like. He said, "I'll just get some new coats." "You will have to pay for them," my boss replied. "Well, if they have cooties, I don't want 'em!" Him and his wife walked away, and my boss looked at me in disbelief. I was trying so hard not to laugh at this gray-haired man and his "cooties." My boss took the coats away, and the man came back shortly after looking for his coats, saying he could give them to a friend who could use them. I called my boss out and she brought them back to him. He then took the coats over by the rest of them, within my view from the cash registers. I then watched at he tried on several of them, and I said to my boss, "You know what he's gonna do, right?" "Yep, he's gonna leave the other coats here and rip the tags off of two other ones and take those." Well, I had to go on my break, and missed this man's departure, but I was told that when he came up to check out, my boss asked to see the bag again, he refused, and when they told him he had to pay for the other one he had put on, he threw it at them and said, "Well, I don't want it then." Also, he continued to complain while waiting in line, and the man in front of him said, "Well, did they charge you for them?" "Um, no." "Well, don't complain, you got those cooties for free! I'd be complaining if they charged ya for them!"
I think we were all amazed by this event. My only response was to say, I think this man could potentially be Craig's best buddy. They'd get along swimmingly.